"The Metamorphosis": Less of a Man

                                                                      Less of a Man

Lying there, nothing but sounds of gunfire and blaring screams, smells of potent smoke and although eyes wide open Gregor’s vision could not get any more blurry. Soldiers running past, so much commotion it’s hard to know exactly what is going on. He could not feel a thing. Looking to his left and then to his right, he realized that both of his arms were blown off from the shoulder down. Will I survive? Who will support Tasha, Rakim and Anthony? Who will take care of my parents? His mind was racing with one question after another. “I have to get out of here, I have to get help. He thought.  With nothing but images of his family in his head, Gregor blacks out.Was becoming a U.S soldier the best career choice?

“Baby, Baby!” Tasha yells out trying to keep Gregor awake.” You can sleep when we get home, you really need to hear this and pay attention.”
The doctor goes on to explain. “It’s the medication ma’am. He’ll be very sleepy after each dose of medicine. How about I explain his needs to you and your son as well as print them out that way if you forget they’ll be on paper for you.”

Tasha tells him that this is fine. “I just want to have a very clear understanding before you guys release him, I’m so nervous.” Tasha explains.

“That’s perfectly normal and fine.” The doctor goes on to explain Gregor’s needs. “Gregor’s arms and legs are to be washed 3 times a day. He has lost a lot of blood in his left leg from the amputation, so just like his arms for about two to three weeks he is not to soak in a bath or get in the shower. Sponge baths are fine but absolutely no soaking! Be sure to not use a lot of soap while washing these areas because they can become badly infected.” The doctor begins to go on about how to dress Gregor and how he should be transferred from one place to another as well as explain his various medications.

Gregor’s eldest son Rakim sits in the corner silently taking in all the information, paying attention to every detail. Tasha is busy trying to keep baby Anthony quiet while he is fussing.

 “Mom, go ahead and take Anthony to the bathroom. Ill finish listening.”

Getting up, Rakim walks over to his dad’s side. Rubbing his shoulder he whispers “I gotcha dad.”

There was nothing but pure silence in the van on the way home. No one could find the right words to say at a time like this. Finally Gregor speaks, “so how’s baseball going bud?”

Shocked because these are the first words his dad has said to him since before the accident, Rakim responds. ”G-g-good dad. I’m the captain this year and not only am I going to play pitcher, I’m going to try short stop!””

That’s great son, can’t wait to come to a couple of your games. “Now arriving home, Tasha cuts their conversation short. “Well don’t think about any of that now, just worry about getting some rest, and eating well. I should cook right? You guys hungry?” Gregor realizes how nervous Tasha is acting. Forgetting that Gregor needs assistance with getting out of the car and into the house Tasha grabs baby Anthony and heads into the house leaving Rakim to help his father into the house alone.

Later the same night at the dinner table Gregor realizes that all of the simple things he used to be able to do, he can no longer do.

“Go get your father a knife and a fork Rakim” says Tasha. Rakim does as he is told and when he comes back he begins cutting his father’s food for him. He then takes a seat back down to begin eating his own dinner. Gregor sits, thinking to himself how will I get my food into my mouth with no arms. Already feeding baby Anthony, Tasha looks over to see that Gregor is not eating. Feeling bad, she insists that Rakim feed his father. Having done everything for his father including change his clothes and walk him to various places around the house, Rakim is getting a little annoyed. However Rakim stands up to move his seat next to his dad’s wheelchair and begins to feed him. Gregor is aware of Rakim’s frustration and claims he is not hungry.

“But babe, you haven’t eaten all day!” Tasha proclaims. “I’ll be fine, sit down son. Eat your dinner.” Gregor responds.

               6 months passing, Gregor becomes more and more depressed. He still cannot wash himself nor dress himself, leaving Rakim to have to help him with the most intimate and embarrassing parts of his life. Because of low funds, Tasha is now forced to get another job and put baby Anthony in daycare. Still needing assistance in every area of his life Gregor feels he is imprisoned in his own body and cannot help but feel like a huge burden on his family. In between taking care of the household needs and the baby, Tasha is very busy. With school, baseball and trying to take care of Gregor, Rakim is also very busy and overwhelmed. Not being able to pick up his youngest son and play with him is killing Gregor inside. It is a whirl wheel around Gregor, and there is nothing he can do about it. Gregor had transformed into less of a man.