It was a cold December night and me and my sister are throwing
our annual Christmas party with our friends and family. It was going great, we had Dublin music
blasting and everyone was having a good time. People were dancing with each
other, my nephew Gabriel, a professional part time book reviewer was there with
his "marvelous" wife Gretta.
Well me and my sister Julia have been throwing this party every year since Pat passed away over thirty years ago when we took in his daughter Mary Jane. But I'm worried about my sister. She has been sick lately and slowing down. This might be her last Christmas party god forbid. I really hope shes okay and just has the flu. I do not know what I would do if something happened to her.
But that is not the problem right now. Freddy Molin has showed up and man does this guy know how to throw them back. You can smell the liquor on him from five feet away.
Great now Freddy is making a scene when I am trying to get everyone together to listen to Gabriel's speech. Gabriel is a wonderful writer. I love everything he writes, but now he does not want to read it. I feel bad for him and Julia and me try to talk him down and get him to read the speech and talk to his wife.
Something is going on with those two. They do not seem like they are getting along well and I do not like it. Gabriel is such a good guy, I would hate to see them split Gabriel would be heart broken.
Now everyone is down stairs and Mary Jane is playing some awful music on the piano. I can tell this by the look on Gabriel's face. He does not look thrilled at what she is playing, but ignores it and goes dances with Miss Ivory. How cute is he for doing that, dancing with her making sure she is having a good time.
But Miss Ivory has a big mouth and has upset Gabriel about something. I can tell this by the look on his face. It probably has to go with book review stuff. She always has to bring up something and upset someone. She does this at every gathering. Last time it was with Mary Jane and I am definitely not getting into that story, damn.
While we are waiting for dinner I can see Gabriel rehearsing his speech over an dover again. I wish he would chill and have confidence in what he writes.
Finally the time has come to for the speech. He starts off talking about the present and the past, oh boy where is this going, and cherish there hearts with memories. All I can think about is where is he going with this.
Oh my god i hope him and his wife are splitting up, it true they are. I can tell by the way he is talking, I hated her since the first time i meet her. She was never happy with anything. I only tolerated her for Gabriel, I just love his so much and want him to be happy.
So we do a toast and like the little baby I am and with everything going on I start crying. But it soon switches into a smile. I look over and Gabriel and his wife are talking and smiling but then leaves the party without her. I do not understand he loves her and she does not want him.
I am gonna take care of this. He should of never left her here alone, alone with me and this big house.
She will be sorry for this, oh will she. She will see how it feels to break a heart when I take hers. I am gonna make her heartless and she will see why you do not mess with my Gabriel.
She will never see Gabriel again, ever. And with in a minute it was over. What did I do, as I stand there looking over her. I did it.
I stabbed her in the back over and over and when I was down I cut her heart out. I made her heartless like how she treated my Gabriel.
After killed her all the pain she has put Gabriel through was gone. No more wife to tare down Gabriel. It is all over now, she will never hurt him again. All the pain gone.
Wifeless.
Well me and my sister Julia have been throwing this party every year since Pat passed away over thirty years ago when we took in his daughter Mary Jane. But I'm worried about my sister. She has been sick lately and slowing down. This might be her last Christmas party god forbid. I really hope shes okay and just has the flu. I do not know what I would do if something happened to her.
But that is not the problem right now. Freddy Molin has showed up and man does this guy know how to throw them back. You can smell the liquor on him from five feet away.
Great now Freddy is making a scene when I am trying to get everyone together to listen to Gabriel's speech. Gabriel is a wonderful writer. I love everything he writes, but now he does not want to read it. I feel bad for him and Julia and me try to talk him down and get him to read the speech and talk to his wife.
Something is going on with those two. They do not seem like they are getting along well and I do not like it. Gabriel is such a good guy, I would hate to see them split Gabriel would be heart broken.
Now everyone is down stairs and Mary Jane is playing some awful music on the piano. I can tell this by the look on Gabriel's face. He does not look thrilled at what she is playing, but ignores it and goes dances with Miss Ivory. How cute is he for doing that, dancing with her making sure she is having a good time.
But Miss Ivory has a big mouth and has upset Gabriel about something. I can tell this by the look on his face. It probably has to go with book review stuff. She always has to bring up something and upset someone. She does this at every gathering. Last time it was with Mary Jane and I am definitely not getting into that story, damn.
While we are waiting for dinner I can see Gabriel rehearsing his speech over an dover again. I wish he would chill and have confidence in what he writes.
Finally the time has come to for the speech. He starts off talking about the present and the past, oh boy where is this going, and cherish there hearts with memories. All I can think about is where is he going with this.
Oh my god i hope him and his wife are splitting up, it true they are. I can tell by the way he is talking, I hated her since the first time i meet her. She was never happy with anything. I only tolerated her for Gabriel, I just love his so much and want him to be happy.
So we do a toast and like the little baby I am and with everything going on I start crying. But it soon switches into a smile. I look over and Gabriel and his wife are talking and smiling but then leaves the party without her. I do not understand he loves her and she does not want him.
I am gonna take care of this. He should of never left her here alone, alone with me and this big house.
She will be sorry for this, oh will she. She will see how it feels to break a heart when I take hers. I am gonna make her heartless and she will see why you do not mess with my Gabriel.
She will never see Gabriel again, ever. And with in a minute it was over. What did I do, as I stand there looking over her. I did it.
I stabbed her in the back over and over and when I was down I cut her heart out. I made her heartless like how she treated my Gabriel.
After killed her all the pain she has put Gabriel through was gone. No more wife to tare down Gabriel. It is all over now, she will never hurt him again. All the pain gone.
Wifeless.
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ReplyDeleteThat was very interesting. I like the twist at the end and how Kate's insanity becomes progessively apparent throughout the story. I also like how Gabriel is depicted through Kates's eyes, it definitely shifts the perspective of his character. I would suggest just proofreading your work and fixing some of the minor grammatical errors, but overall, good story!
ReplyDeleteThat’s really an imaginative development of the story! And a very sharp end which is beyond my expectation! I think that would be perfect to reveal more psychological depiction of Kate and her reaction with Gabriel. Last but not least, I like the way you ends this story, the implication and the figurative expressions are so attractive and impressive!
ReplyDeleteSome good paragraphing, Dave, and thanks for showing how she does it. I agree with Nick on the proofreading, and Qing on giving more psychological motivation.
ReplyDelete