Dead and Gone

It's great having such a liked husband.  His aunt's just think he is the best thing in the world.  Tonight is their annual party and we're very excited.  Gabriel is a great husband and he is a highly appreciated man.  Although, he can be kind of controlling.  He buys me specific things he wants me to wear and then expects me to always wear it.  His new thing for me to wear is galoshes.  I hate them, but he insists on me wearing them.  I explained this to his aunt's and they think it is just hilarious.  Not me though, not one bit.  We always follow the same schedule at this party.  We dance, the aunts perform and then we have dinner, it is quite redundant.  Tonight we have a new performance which changes things up just a little.  His name is Mr. Bartell D'Arcy and I have been wondering what he is going to sing since we were told about him.
       He is about to start and we are all watching him so intently, then as he beautifully sang that first line it just stunned me.  I know this song.  I used to love this song.  I find it hard to move or even breath for that matter.  I can't help but to just stand here while Gabriel is waiting down stairs for me.  I start to leave but then I just pause.  It's such a beautiful song filled with so many memories.  I can feel Gabriel just staring at me. So I turn and walk away.
        On the way to the hotel Gabriel says that he can sense a change in my mood and wants to know what's wrong.  I can't tell him, I could never tell him.  How do I tell my husband that I loved another man so deeply?  I loved him in a way that I have never loved Gabriel.  That man used to sing me the song Mr. D'Arcy sung this evening.  I can still hear his voice, I can still see his face and sometimes I can still feel his hand holding mine while I'm walking through town.  Michael Fury was his name.  Such a handsome young man and we were so young and in love.
         I was only 17 and never felt more alive then I was with him.  We would walk through the country side and talk for hours.  The way Gabriel and I have never talked.  I looked at Michael with such admiration and joy.  I respect Gabriel and I appreciate him for what he has given me but, I have never felt a deep connection with him.  I have tried and it is difficult to love a man that is so impersonal.  The love I had for Michael was raw and passionate... better yet, it was real.  If my lovely Michael Fury did not pass away I do not know where I would be, what I would have.  Michael was ill, and he came for me when I told him I was leaving for the convent anyways.  It was so cold and I told him to go back home.  Of course he did and when I found out he passed away I couldn't help but believe that it was because of me.  Coming for me and waiting in the cold, his heart must have been as broken as mine.  I can't let go, I can't feel something that was already taken from me.  I do not love my husband, I am incapable.  My love is dead and gone, with Michael Fury buried in the beautiful blanket of white snow.